- "A good lawyer is much better than a good husband."
- —Lucrezia Flathead
Her life has been marked with marriages with wealthy and old men.
- At only 16 years old she married Marcus Bzart-Foodle a very rich and very old nobleman from Gurth, who died 10.5 months after the wedding in bed with her.
- Oddzoe Glorb III, a wealthy land baron from Mareilon. He was found dead 5 weeks after the wedding, mangled by hellhounds. Lucrezia had a multi-volume hellhound training manual which she had removed, to get rid of tragic memories.
- Only 5 days later she married Hirax Mumbleton, the Governor of Antharia. After 2 days he was found in his office, smothered under a ton of raw granola. Lucrezia cancelled her daily truckloads of granola to avoid similar tragedies.
- 15 wealthy husbands followed, all wealthy lords who died on their wedding night.
Royal insiders reported that Lucrezia became dangerously suicidal because of her tragic string of bad luck. Dimwit Flathead locked her up in a cell in a dungeon. For the following 15 years 1800 prison guards were mysteriously poisoned.